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The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace - Hardcover

Feldhahn, Shaunti

 
9780385528115: The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace
Hardcover
ISBN 10: 0385528116 ISBN 13: 9780385528115
Verlag: Crown Currency, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

Based on a nationwide survey and confidential interviews with more than three thousand men, bestselling author of For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn, has written a startling and unprecedented exploration of how men in the workplace tend to think, which even the most astute women might otherwise miss. In The Male Factor, Feldhahn investigates and quantifies the private thoughts that men almost never publicly reveal or admit to, but that every woman will want to know.

Never before has an author gotten inside the hearts and minds of men in the workplace—from CEOs to managers, from lawyers to factory workers—to get a comprehensive and confidential picture of what men commonly think about their female colleagues, how they view flextime and equal compensation, what their expected “rules” of the workplace are, what managing emotion means, and how that lowcut top is perceived. Because the men in the surveys and interviews were guaranteed anonymity, they talk in a candid and uncensored way about their daily interactions with women bosses, employees, and colleagues, as well as what they see as the most common forces of friction and misunderstanding between men and women at work.

Among the subjects The Male Factor tackles are:

• how men, with rare exception, view almost any emotional display as a sign that the person can no longer think clearly—as well as what they perceive to be “emotion” in the first place (it’s not just crying)

• why certain trendy clothes that women wear may create a career-sabotaging land mine in terms of how male colleagues perceive them

• the unintentional signals that can change a man’s perception of a woman from “assertive and competent” to “difficult”

Women will likely be surprised, even shocked, by these revelations. Some may find them challenging. Yet what they will gain is an invaluable understanding of how their male bosses, colleagues, subordinates, and customers react to a host of situations—as well as the ability to correct common misperceptions. The Male Factor offers a unique road map to what men in the workplace are thinking, allowing women the opportunity to decide for themselves how to use the insights Feldhahn reveals.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

SHAUNTI FELDHAHN is the best-selling author of For Women Only:What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men and For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women. Her books have sold two million copies and have been translated into fifteen different languages. A longtime nationally sydicated columnist, she holds a master's degree in public policy from Harvard University, has worked on Wall Street, and now lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

www.MaleFactorChristian.com

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CHAPTER 1   A New Skill Set     "Are you saying women don't already know that?"   The charismatic African-American businessman sitting next to me in first class looked at me in disbelief. We were only a few minutes into the usual "What do you do?" airplane conversation when I shared something that apparently stunned him.   I had explained that I was a financial analyst by training, had worked on Wall Street, and was now, unexpectedly, a bestselling author and speaker about relationships.   His inevitable question: "What's your main topic?"   "Men." I grinned at his wry expression. "I spent a few years interviewing and surveying a few thousand men. My last book identifies some ways that men tend to privately think and feel, that women tend not to know."   He folded his arms across his chest, and it was his turn to chuckle. "OK," he said, "hit me with one."   So I shared one of my findings about men--one that I will share with you in the following pages--and that is when the amusement turned to disbelief.   When I confirmed that even the most astute women may not know that particular truth about men, I could see that suddenly, his thoughts were off in a universe of their own. If he hadn't been strapped in his seat, I think he would have gotten up and startedpacing.   "That explains something!" he finally said. "You see, I'm a corporate trainer and consultant. Fortune 100 corporations bring me in to help with leadership and strategy at the highest levels of the organization. And all too often, I see skilled and talentedwomen sabotage their careers because they treat the men they work with in a way that no man would treat another man."   He looked at me with awakening interest. "But from what you're telling me, these women probably don't even realize that that is what they are doing."   It was my turn to be interested, and my notebook and pen were already out. "Can you give me an example?"   "I'll give you an example of something that just happened a few hours ago." For the next few minutes, he told me his story (which I'll relay in a later chapter), and concluded, "I was so puzzled why this female executive would shoot herself in the footlike that! But perhaps she simply didn't understand how her actions would be perceived by her colleagues--colleagues who were mostly men."     THE HOLE IN THE BUCKET   The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And, because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how our failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.  --R. D. LAING     Over the last few decades, corporations across America have developed a bucket of programs to help advance or retain women. Many approaches have been quite effective; others, better in theory than in practice. We've seen a surge in management attentionto work/life balance issues--particularly to retain working moms--and a corresponding surge in flextime and telecommuting options. Businesses and industry groups are increasingly fostering female networks and mentoring relationships as an alternative to playinggolf with the guys, and are emphasizing professional development for rising women. Organizations large and small have studied and trained their people on avoiding sexual harassment, and on the unique needs of female workers, customers, and stakeholders. Gender-equitytask forces have proliferated.   But as valuable as that effort is, I've come to realize that it has a significant hole. We as women can be skilled, talented, highly educated, mentored, networked--and yet trade all of that away by unintentionally undermining ourselves in our interactionswith male colleagues. As my new friend on the airplane put it, we can still sabotage ourselves simply because we do not understand the "male factor": some relevant truths about how the male half of the population thinks--and thus how they may be perceiving(or misperceiving) our words and actions.   Even without that potential trap, we may be missing some important insight, effectiveness, and tactical advantage through a simple gap in information--a gap exacerbated by the fact that (as you will see) men often have clear internal expectations but don'tfeel able to openly share what they are privately thinking. So the end result is the same: A woman can all too easily be missing valuable information that might be helpful or important for her---information that she would presumably want to know in today'smarket. One senior executive put it this way:     Women in business have seen some tremendous opportunities open up, but have also seen that it is still a man's world in many ways. What I mean, though, is different than you may think. What I mean is that, historically, for better or for worse, men prettymuch created what we mean by "the business world" today. And since men still tend to hold most of the top-level positions, their subconscious ideas about how things should work are still framing the debate.   It would be extremely helpful for women to have insights into what it's like to be a man in that business world. When men say things like, "It's not personal; it's business," it would be helpful for women to understand what "it's business" actually meansin the minds of the men whose ideas originally defined that business world.     Based on everything I have heard from men about how they think and feel--and how surprising some of those facts have been to the millions of women who have read my previous books or heard me discuss those findings--I would argue that understanding menin the ways that might impact us is a career-critical skill set that women can develop, like any other.   Over the years, I've heard from hundreds of women readers who were validated that they had already recognized and incorporated some of these truths into their workplace approach--and from many others who wished they had learned these often-hidden truthsearlier or better.   All of us want to be perceived as "getting it" instead of triggering the unspoken question, Why would she do that? While the need for understanding is most obvious among younger women who are still learning their way in the marketplace, a better understandingof men has certainly helped senior female professionals, as well. One senior vice president found her work relationships with men improving so much after she read my original book that she personally bought one hundred copies, one for every woman in her department.   If in your line of work you have any significant interaction with male superiors, coworkers, subordinates, customers, or other constituents, it is worth it to get inside their heads and better understand what they privately think--especially in areas thataffect you, but that they would never tell you themselves. Not because their way is "right," or because you should necessarily adapt to their expectations, but because their perceptions exist and could be affecting you regardless of whether you know what theyare. Far better to have full information, so you can make the informed decisions that are right for you.     MEN 101   You may have seen the humorous graphic comparing women and men to two different old-fashioned control panels. The one labeled "Woman" has dozens of random buttons, gauges, and circuit breakers. The one labeled "Man" has an on-off switch.   Pop culture suggests women are complex, while men are straightforward. And in some ways, that may seem to be true. But in other ways, I've found it to be quite misleading--and dangerously so. Not taking into account the complexity and depth of men's thinkingcan...

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Verlag
Crown Currency
Erscheinungsdatum
2009
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0385528116
ISBN 13 
9780385528115
Einband
Gebundene Ausgabe
Anzahl der Seiten
320
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
Nicht verfügbar