In this high school-set psychological tale, a tormented teen named Evan starts to discover a series of unnerving photographs-some of which feature him. Someone is stalking him . . . messing with him . . . threatening him. Worse, ever since his best friend Ariel has been gone, he's been unable to sleep, spending night after night torturing himself for his role in her absence. And as crazy as it sounds, Evan's starting to believe it's Ariel that's behind all of this, punishing him. But the more Evan starts to unravel the mystery, the more his paranoia and insomnia amplify, and the more he starts to unravel himself. Creatively told with black-and-white photos interspersed between the text so the reader can see the photos that are so unnerving to Evan, Every You, Every Me is a one-of-a-kind departure from a one-of-a-kind author.
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David Levithan has taken at least one photograph every day for the past ten years. However, he is much better known for his novels, which includeBoy Meets Boy, The Realm of Possibility, Are We There Yet?, Wide Awake, Love is the Higher Law,and (with John Green) Will Grayson, Will Grayson. He’s written three books with Rachel Cohn as well:Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List, andDash & Lily’s Book of Dares. In truth, though, he probably spends more time wandering around with his camera than he does sitting at his computer writing. He particularly loves taking pictures of passersby, and New York City is perfect for that. He met Jonathan Farmer because of Jonathan’s likeness to a young Walt Whitman.
Jonathan Farmer, to this very day, has not, cannot, and may never decide just what it is he wants to be when he grows up. Once, he thought he had found the perfect descriptor—"Naturalist"—but David said that just made him sound like a botanist . . . or a nudist. Since then, Jonathan has narrowed it down to: photographer, performer, writer, director, and teacher. He spent his early years exploring the mysterious forests of New Hampshire. But now, since moving to Brooklyn, NY, Jonathan has been growing to love the hustle and bustle of the city. From time to time, though, you might catch him longing for the sweet smell of the pines. Visit Jonathan at jwfarmer.com.
1
It was your birthday. The first one after you [left vanished] were gone.
When I woke up, I [dreamed] thought about other birthdays. Ones where we'd been together.
Like two years ago. Freshman year. [When I had you all to myself.] I asked you what you wanted and you said roses, and then you said, "But not the flowers." So I spent weeks gathering presents: a polished piece of rose quartz, White Rose tea, a ceramic tile I'd bought at the White House in fourth grade featuring the Rose Garden. A novel called Rose Sees Red, a biography of Gypsy Rose Lee, a mix of songs by bands called Blue Roses, the Stone Roses, White Rose Movement. Then I rigged your locker with pulleys, so when you opened it, all the objects rose. I'm not sure you got that part, not until I told you. But you were so happy then. [This was before happiness became so complicated. This was when you could ask me for something, I could give it to you, and the world would be right.]
And then there was last year. [You went out with Jack at night, but I at least had you for the afternoon.] I asked you what you wanted and you said you didn't want anything. And I told you I wasn't planning on giving you anything; I was planning on giving you something. That whole week, we started to divide things into those two categories: anything or something. A piece of jewelry bought at a department store: anything. A piece of jewelry made by hand: something. A dollar: anything. A sand dollar: something. A gift certificate: anything. An IOU for two hours of starwatching: something. A drunk kiss at a party: anything. A sober kiss alone in a park: something. We ended up spending the afternoon walking around, pointing at things and labeling them anything or something. [Should I have paid closer attention? Written them down? No, it was a good day. Wasn't it?] At the end, you pointed to me and said something. And I pointed back and said something. [I held on to that.]
Now it was a year later. I wished you a happy birthday. [That word again. Happy. It's a curse. The pursuit of happiness makes us deeply unhappy. It's a trap.]
Before anything else happened, there was me in bed, thinking of [who] you [used to be].
I don't want you to think I forgot.
1A
I see too many things at once. I notice shadows. Think about them. And while I do that, I miss other things. Important things. I can't stop looking, even when I [want to] have to stop. I get lost in ifs. They are always there [if if if if] and I should only be able to tune in to them if I'm on the right frequency. But that's the thing about me: The frequencies don't divide.
[That day was your birthday in my head, but it wasn't really your birthday anywhere else.] I wanted to tell people at school that it was your birthday [but I didn't want to get their reaction when I brought it up]. I started to think it was like a surprise party, only they weren't telling either of us. They were going to surprise both of us. [I didn't have this thought for long. It was really just there for a moment.] I pretended like it was a normal day [without you there]. And like all other normal days, I made it through to the other end. [It can be done, you see.]
There are things you decide [and there are decisions you don't even know you are making]. That afternoon, I decided to cut through the woods on my way home. [As I headed that way, I looked at the ground, not the branches or the sky. If I'd stopped to talk to someone after school instead of heading straight home--if I'd had someone to talk to--maybe someone else would have gotten there first. I didn't decide to see the envelope.] I saw the envelope sitting there on the ground. [I should have left it alone. I should have been left alone. I was alone.] I stopped and picked it up. From the weight, I knew there was something inside. I decided to open it.
[I wasn't thinking of you.]
It was so small. I had to focu
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