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Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters - Softcover

Donahue, Paulj.

 
9780312358914: Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0312358911 ISBN 13: 9780312358914
Verlag: SMP Paperback, 2007

Inhaltsangabe

"Dr. Donahue's calm, reasoned approach will help moms and dads sort out their concerns so they can stop worrying about the future and enjoy their rapidly changing kids — now."

--Thomas. W. Phelan, author, 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children

The ‘perfect parenting' expectations imposed on you by the media, society, your family, and your community can seem impossible to live up to and only make you more fearful and anxious. Paul Donahue, Ph.D. has uncovered the six most common fears that prevent you from being the effective, loving, and successful parent you want to be:

-The Fear of Letting Go

-The Fear of Not Doing Enough

-The Fear of Taking Charge

-The Fear of Slowing Down

-The Fear of Unstructured Time

-The Fear of Falling Behind

Parenting Without Fear gives you the tools to confront your fears, rethink your goals and teach your children how to be independent, to persevere, to cooperate and respect adults, to be mindful, to imagine and explore their world, and to develop compassion for others. Discover how to gain the confidence to trust your own judgment, and the courage to make choices about your children's academic, social and athletic lives that reflect your family's values and balance your needs with theirs.

"Dr. Donahue has masterfully identifies the key fears faced by many parents as they confront the challenges of raising children in today's world and he does so with warmth, humor, and empathy. This book will serve as an invaluable resource for parents."

--Robert Brooks, Ph.D., co-author, Raising Resilient Children and The Power of Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence and Personal Strength in Your Life

"This book provides welcome reassurance to parents who worry they are not doing everything they can for their kids."

--Nancy Samalin, M.S., author of Loving without Spoiling and 100 Timeless Tips for Raising Terrific Kids

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Paul J. Donahue, Ph.D, a nationally-recognized clinical psychologist, is the founder and director of Child Development Associates in Scarsdale, New York, a practice specializing in young children and their families.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

Chapter One
Introduction: Thriving Adults,
Fearful Parents
Working as a child psychologist is a privileged position. I have the pleasure of hearing compelling stories from parents every day. Many of them are heart-wrenching; some are tragic; others are inspirational and uplifting. By far the most striking tales are those I can't easily unravel. In these cases the stated "problem" does not appear overly serious, yet parents report feeling uneasy, frustrated, or stumped. Sometimes they are more than a little frantic. Curiously, their uncertainty is in high contrast with their outward appearance. Most of these moms and dads are composed, smart, and aware, and a good number are experienced professionals or successful businesspeople. They are nearly all caring and well-intentioned parents.
Take Susan, an attorney in her early forties, who came to my office on an early winter's morning. She had a warm smile, and though she was a little shy, Susan was expressive, self-effacing, and very funny. In the first few minutes I wondered what could have brought her to my door. Yet as she moved beyond the initial pleasantries and began to describe her concerns about her son, Susan appeared weary and dejected. Looking down, she told me she was feeling close to the end of her rope.
Her son Tim was eight years old and in the third grade. He was a smart kid and had breezed through the first three years of elementary school. Now things were changing. Tim had real homework for the first time and Susan couldn't seem to get him to do it on his own. There were also more social pressures, and Susan and her husband were worried about Tim's standing with his peers: Would he make the travel soccer team? Was he having enough playdates? Were kids leaving him off their birthday party lists?
To Susan, Tim appeared vulnerable and anxious much of the time and unsure of his abilities. Often he could not choose whom he wanted to be with or what he wanted to do. Susan had also noticed that Tim was more needy this year, asking for extra toys and games without taking much pleasure in the gifts he did receive. By all accounts Tim was a good kid who often showed compassion for other children and adults. Susan knew he had some great qualities, but could take little solace in this knowledge. Lately she was finding it more and more difficult to feel confident about Tim's future, and she was feeling guilty about contemplating a return to part-time work.
Rene and Ted came in a few days later to ask for help with their four-year-old daughter, Adrienne, who was a real spitfire. Precociously verbal, she had been a fluent talker since she was ten months old. She was beginning to read a little, could count up to one thousand, and loved everything to do with oceans and marine life. Rene admitted that Adrienne did have some difficulty in preschool this year; she was rambunctious at times and did not always follow the rules, nor did she like to share. Ted thought Adrienne was misunderstood by her classmates and perhaps by her teachers as well, although he did admit that sometimes she could become uncooperative and aggressive at home.
Ted and Rene's main reason for coming in was to learn more about how to give Adrienne opportunities to develop her prodigious talents. Should they add on enrichment programs for her? Would a private tutor help? Should she be going to a more challenging school next year? Despite hearing from teachers that Adrienne was always using her imagination and thinking creatively, Ted and Rene worried constantly that they needed to do more to stimulate their daughter. Their first thought was to seek out a team of learning specialists who could assist them in this effort. In our first meeting, they expressed serious doubts that their encouragement and assistance would be enough for Adrienne.
Like Susan, Ted and Rene were capable and successful people who had little difficulty managing most of their responsibilities. They cared deeply about their children and wanted the best for them. Yet when it came to problem solving or making decisions for their kids, they wavered, and lacked the confidence they displayed so readily in other aspects of their lives. They were a bit sheepish about this dilemma and felt considerable despair over not knowing how to "fix" things themselves. Talking about Adrienne's difficult behavior made them uncomfortable, as if they were letting out a secret that they had kept pretty well hidden until that moment. It pained them not to know what course they should take with their daughter, or what resources they might need to call on to keep her on a promising track.
The New Age of Anxiety
Plenty of new parents are anxious. Who doesn't recall coming home from the hospital with a newborn and thinking, "Now what?" Even after we've mastered the feeding routines and diaper-changing, there are many moments of confusion and uncertainty when we are caring for an infant. Things get a little easier as the kids get older. Toddlers look less fragile, and by then most parents are used to the fevers and occasional bumps and bruises. In most cases, the sleep deprivation begins to subside and parents can resume some semblance of normal living.
By the time the child is two or thereabout, parents begin to worry about much more than basic caretaking. Suddenly we wonder if our children are talking enough: Are they social, do they make good eye contact? How do we handle those tantrums? Are they growing, do they move around well, are they going to be coordinated? What about school? Should we sign them up for nursery school or day care? Can they handle the separation? Can we?
The threes and fours bring their own, bigger, challenges. Does he know his numbers and colors and letters? Is she having enough playdates? Should we join in the soccer and baseball clinics? What about swimming lessons and ballet? Shouldn't they start being exposed to theater and museums and the zoo and musical performances? How come we hear that other kids are reading already? Would math workbooks be helpful?
In the early years of elementary school, the burners are turned up even higher. The academic pressures that parents have only heard about up to this point now hit them head-on. Plenty of kindergarteners struggle to complete their homework, and first graders can have mutiple projects going at school. By second grade the good and not-so-good readers are being tracked and separated. It's no wonder that parents fret over how to give their kids an edge and begin to ask more questions: Are the kids mastering phonetics and getting enough math instruction? The extracurricular menu is ever expanding: Should it be karate or violin lessons or dance? And then there are sports. Parents see second graders are being divided up into A and B soccer teams and can't help wondering if private coaching is needed. How do we build those skills at home? What about our kids' self-confidence? Are they in the popular crowd at school?
Where's the Instruction Manual?
Just thinking about all these choices and pressures can be exhausting and bewildering, and many parents don't know where to turn. As a professional, I often hear about their concerns, which are usually prefaced by: "I've never done this before"; "This is my first time as a parent"; "They don't come with an instruction manual, do they?" It's easy to laugh these off as typical and half-in-jest complaints. I think that is a mistake, because for many parents, particularly the mothers I meet, this confusion goes to the very heart of their dilemma.
Today's...

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Verlag
SMP Paperback
Erscheinungsdatum
2007
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0312358911
ISBN 13 
9780312358914
Einband
Taschenbuch
Auflage
1
Anzahl der Seiten
324
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
KreGa Onlinehandel GmbH
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