Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Nancy Rue has written over 100 books for girls, is the editor of the Faithgirlz Bible, and is a popular speaker and radio guest with her expertise in tween and teen issues. She and husband, Jim, have raised a daughter of their own and now live in Tennessee.

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Everybody Tells Me to Be Myself ... but I Don't Know Who I Am!

ZONDERKIDZ

Contents

How to Read This Book..................................81 You Want to Come Along?..............................112 Mirror, Mirror.......................................353 Big Old Hairy Obstacles..............................574 Talkin' Trash—Talkin' Truth.....................815 Being You—Being Her.............................996 The Fun Part!........................................1237 Mileage Check........................................137

Chapter One

I have an invitation for you.

If you are a mini-woman—that is, you're a girl between the ages of eight and twelve—you're invited on a journey. It's not a trip, because once you set out you won't be coming back. It isn't a vacation either. Even though parts of it are going to be a blast for you, some of it will demand hard work. And it definitely isn't a tour. You'll have guides on this journey, but you'll do more than see the sights and go, "How cool is that? Now when do we eat?"

I promise you, though, that this journey will be worth your while, because where we're going is a place you really can't afford to miss out on. We're going ...

To your true self.

Seriously. This is a journey designed for you to discover the genuine, authentic, unique person you were made to be when God created you. It's a long one. As a matter of fact, nobody totally gets there because some of the things about who you are will change as you get older. You could actually say that this is a journey of learning how to make the journey.

So, why would you want to embark (that's a cool travel word for "start out") on such a tough, never-ending road? I'll let your fellow mini-women answer that for you:

"Some people at school and church think you have to act like a twenty-year-old to be cool. And sometimes I do because some of my friends are intimidating."

"Something that stops me from being me is the thought of someone not liking me or thinking I'm a freak or something."

"It's hard for me to be myself when someone is doing something better than I am."

"I don't like who I am!"

"I think what keeps me from being me is that I don't know who I am in the first place."

If you've had those thoughts or others like them, that doesn't mean you're a loser. It means you're breathing. You're a tween girl, and this is the time in your life when you're finding out that ...

• You really aren't the same as everyone else.

• Not everyone automatically likes who you are.

It can be a bummer because it's happening at exactly the same time that you're discovering how much you want people to like who you are, especially BFFs (Best Friends Forever), CFFs (Close Friends Forever), and maybe even, uh, boys. The problem is, they're trying to figure out the same things you are. It's a wonder anybody ever gets there!

But you can. This book is like a travel guide to get you started on the journey toward your true God-made self. It's set up to help you ...

• figure out who you really-deep-down-inside are

• be that person no matter who you're with.

You may be thinking, it's easy for me to say you can do those two things. I'm a grown-up, after all. But I'm still on that journey, and although it's a lot easier than it used to be, there are still some bumpy roads and switchbacks along the way. And besides, I've had a lot of help with this book from mini-women who, like you, are starting out right now and are making progress. You'll see their absolutely true stories here, and you'll know you are SO not alone.

If you think you'd like to come along, let's do a little pre-journey preparation.

"I have a problem when my friends think I'm crazy and I'm just being myself. They think it's not ladylike to eat a cupcake so half of it ends up on your face. Who said I was trying to be ladylike? I'm just trying to have fun."

HERE'S THE DEAL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF

How many times have you heard grown-ups say, "Just be yourself"? Like that's supposed to prepare you for a situation where you don't know anybody, or you don't know what you're supposed to do, or you have that feeling that you are not going to fit in at all.

In the first place, what do they mean by "be yourself"? They're probably talking about a thing called authenticity. When you're authentic ...

• You're always honest.

• You don't pretend to be rich, or way smart about something, or totally into horses (or whatever everybody else is into) when you're not.

• You don't copy the way other kids dress or talk or laugh if it doesn't feel natural to you.

• You go after the things you're interested in even if nobody else does.

• You make up your own mind by what you know is good and true.

Easy, right? You just do all that stuff and you're authentic.

Uh-huh, except for these questions your fellow mini-women ask:

"What if I'm so honest I hurt people's feelings?"

"What if I just do my thing and everybody thinks I'm weird?"

"What if I always do what's right and nobody wants to be with me because I'm too 'good'?"

"What if I don't even know what I like and what I'm interested in and how I want to dress? What about that?"

"Certain people keep me from feeling like I can be myself. Mean people. My family sometimes. That socute boy I have a crush on."

Take a big ol' sigh of relief. The whole point of this journey is to turn every one of those "what ifs" into a "what is." It is possible to ...

• Be honest and encouraging at the same time.

• Know what your own "unique thing" is and go for it without worrying about other kids thinking you're weird.

• Show people that good is cool.

• Discover more and more the special, one-of-a-kind person you are ... and love yourself.

Wait ... did I just say you're going to love yourself? Isn't that conceited? Selfish? Stuck up?

Let's see what God has to say about that. Read this next part very carefully, because without it, the journey can't even begin.

GOT GOD?

Even if you've only just started thinking about God on your own (as in, outside of Sunday school class), you probably know that God-loving people believe God thought each one of us up, made us, and put us here for a reason. The Bible (which is where God mostly talks to us) says that over and over. Here's just one example:

[God] has shaped each person in turn; now he watches everything we do.

Psalm 33:15 THE MESSAGE

It's kind of cool to imagine God's magnificent hands making an individual person who is totally different from every other baby girl or boy ever created before. It's like God is a potter, shaping people out of clay. God makes a perfect work of art, breathes life into it, and loves it.

"Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker ... Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?'"

Isaiah 45:9

So if God loves what God has made, including you, how can you do any less than love yourself too?

It's hard, though, with the world telling you to pick yourself apart all the time:

* Are your clothes hip?

* Is your slang up to date?

* Are you cool enough?

* Funny enough?

* Blond enough?

We'll talk more about that later. For now, just remember that God...