Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Kay Warren cofounded Saddleback Church with her husband, Rick Warren, in Lake Forest, California. She is a passionate Bible teacher and respected advocate for those living with HIV & AIDS, orphaned and vulnerable children, as well as for those affected by a mental illness. She founded Saddleback's HIV & AIDS Initiative. Kay is the author of Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough, Say Yes to God and coauthor of Foundations, the popular systematic theology course used by churches worldwide. Her children are Amy and Josh, and Matthew who is in Heaven; she has five grandchildren.

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You have a plan for the rest of your life. God has a plan for the rest of your life. Are they the same? Say Yes to God---formerly titled Dangerous Surrender---will help you find the answer. You have expectations for how your life will play out, and you hope those plans will become realities. But what if God's plan for your life is far different from what you had in mind? Can you accept that? Will you surrender your goals for God's? Kay Warren had a plan. Together with her husband, Rick Warren, author of the megaseller The Purpose Driven Life, she planned that after her kids were grown, she'd travel the world, teaching and encouraging couples in ministry. It was a good plan. But it wasn't what God had in mind for her. In her own startling wake-up call, Kay discovered the shocking realities of the AIDS pandemic in Africa while reading a magazine. 'I want to use you!' she heard God say. That began the struggle---first to avoid God's call and then to surrender herself to God. She cried out to God, 'Why are you bothering me with this? There's nothing I can do about it. I'm just an ordinary person. What could one person do about such a gigantic problem?' But God had grabbed her attention and wouldn't let go. If you've ever struggled with knowing and doing God's will, this book is for you. With raw honesty, Kay goes straight to the heart of the matter: the bottom line is surrender. Will you say yes to God? Along the way she'll introduce you to others---people like you---who have said yes to God and have made a difference in the world. Using their skills, energy, faith, and a willingness to take risks, they became powerful instruments of change and tools in God's hands. Giving in to God isn't easy. It's not for cowards. It's the boldest, riskiest step you'll ever take. This dangerous surrender can bring both joy and pain, both heartache and ecstasy, but it enables you to know God in a far deeper way than ever before. 'I had to make a conscious decision. Would I retreat to my comfortable life and to my settled plans? Or would I surrender to God's call and let my heart engage with the cause to which he called me one that I was pretty sure would include buckets of pain and sorrow? I felt like I was standing on the edge of a giant precipice; I couldn't go back, and yet the way forward looked like stepping into a void.' Kay Warren took that step, choosing to say yes to God. That decision transformed her life and reshaped her future. She invites you to do the same. You'll benefit most by discussing this book with others. A Readers' Group Discussion Guide is provided in the back of the book. Additional help can be found at www.kaywarren.com.

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Say Yes to God

Zondervan

Contents

1. The Leap of Faith.....................................112. The Kingdom of Me.....................................413. Gloriously Ruined.....................................694. Ready, Set, Stop......................................875. Exposing Evil.........................................1076. Mirrors Don't Lie.....................................1337. The Gift of Presence..................................1498. A Deliberate Choice...................................1659. An Unexpected Bond....................................18110. Linking Arms.........................................19911. What Are You Willing to Die For?.....................217The Adventure Continues..................................237Resources................................................243Acknowledgments..........................................245Bible Translations.......................................249Notes....................................................251Readers' Group Discussion Guide..........................253About Kay Warren.........................................269

Chapter One

"Much is required from those to whom much is given." Luke 12:48 LB

If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart. Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 1

I didn't see it coming.

I woke up on a normal day, looking ahead to a typical schedule. Nothing out of the ordinary was planned - routine stuff filled the calendar slots. I didn't have the faintest clue that God was about to rock my world and change the trajectory of my life forever.

Unaware of the radical change in store for me on that spring day in 2002, I sat down on the couch in my living room with a cup of tea and picked up one of the weekly newsmagazines we subscribe to. I noticed that there was a story about AIDS in Africa, and I casually flipped over to that section, not because I cared about AIDS in Africa (I didn't care about AIDS anywhere, let alone in Africa), but because I wanted to stay up on current events. As I began to read, I quickly realized that the graphic pictures that accompanied the article were horrific - skeletal men and women, children so weak they couldn't brush the flies from their faces. I couldn't look at them. But for some strange reason, I was compelled to continue reading. I partially covered my eyes with my hands and tried to peek through the cracks in my fingers at the words without looking at the faces of dying men, women, and children.

God, in his wisdom, knew exactly how to bypass my feeble attempts to block out the upsetting photographs. If he couldn't get my attention with the pictures, he would use the words. The phrase "twelve million children orphaned due to AIDS in Africa" jumped off the magazine page and imprinted itself in my mind. I was shocked and stunned and, frankly, disbelieving. "No," I said out loud, "there's no way there could be twelve million children orphaned in one place due to one illness at one time. I don't even know one orphan - how could there be twelve million?" I threw the magazine on the floor in horror.

But I couldn't get rid of this new reality so easily. That night, I was haunted by the thought of twelve million boys and girls left alone, their parents the victims of AIDS. As I drifted into sleep, my last thought was about the orphans; I woke up in the morning with their little faces swirling through my mind. Suddenly AIDS, Africa, and orphans were everywhere! Every newspaper I picked up had an article about AIDS in Africa; it seemed as though every newscast echoed the story. Over the next few weeks, I tried to escape the stories and the pictures, but I couldn't.

God and I began an intense internal conversation. At the time, I thought our conversation was about AIDS. In retrospect, I understand that we were beginning a discussion about something even bigger. Surrender. Surrender to the God of the universe. But God knew I wasn't ready to see that surrender was the real subject. After all, I already considered myself fully surrendered to Jesus Christ. No need to discuss that any further, right? But AIDS, that was something I knew God and I had to talk about.

My first argument with him was over the numbers of people infected by HIV - the virus that causes AIDS - and the number of orphans left in its wake. I reasoned to myself that the media must be exaggerating the numbers. Since I considered myself pretty savvy about global situations, surely I would know if a problem of this magnitude existed.

As the days went by, the internal dialogue with God continued unabated, but it also began to shift focus. I gradually began to accept that while I had been raising my family and serving in my church, a humanitarian crisis of gargantuan proportions had been escalating on our planet. There was no media exaggeration, no propaganda to garner sympathy for a minor cause. Something tragic and terrible was happening right under my nose.

I felt powerless to do anything about the new reality thrust in front of me. I cried out to God, "Why are you bothering me with this? There's nothing I can do about it. I'm just an ordinary person. What could one person do about such a gigantic problem? And by the way, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a white suburban mom with a minivan. What do I know about a disease in Africa?"

After a month of anguished wrestling with God, I reached a point at which I had to make a conscious decision. Would I retreat to my comfortable life and my settled plans, pretending I didn't know about the HIV/AIDS pandemic and the millions of orphans? Or would I surrender to God's call - now so obvious I could not deny it - and let my heart engage with a cause I was pretty sure would include buckets of pain and sorrow? I didn't know what would happen if I said yes to God's increasingly strong urge to engage. What did engaging even mean? I felt like I was standing on the edge of a giant precipice. I couldn't go back, and yet the way forward looked like stepping into a void. God was calling me to surrender to his call on my life, even if I didn't yet understand what he expected me to do.

The moment of decision had arrived. With eyes closed and teeth clenched tightly, I finally said yes. The second I did, my heart broke, and I was shattered. It was as though God took my heart and put it through a wood chipper - what went in was a "branch" but what came out on the other side was a heart shredded into a million pieces. With lightning speed, God yanked the blindfold of apathy, ignorance, and complacency from my eyes, and I was overcome by the realities of the suffering he revealed. I ached with a new kind of pain - a pain that felt as though it had come from the most visceral part of me. I was filled with sorrow and grief. I wept as though I was the one who was sick, or my child was dying, or I was the orphan left alone. I knew next to nothing about HIV/AIDS, but my heart was instantly linked with those who know it intimately. Like the apostle Paul knocked off his donkey on the road to...