Damned - Softcover

Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison. I'm just now arrived here, in Hell, but it's not my fault except for maybe dying from an overdose of marijuana. Maybe I'm in Hell because I'm fat--a Real Porker. If you can go to Hell for having low self-esteem, that's why I'm here. I wish I could lie and tell you I'm bone-thin with blond hair and big ta-tas. But, trust me, I'm fat for a really good reason. "To start with, please let me introduce myself . . ."

Thirteen year old Madison has problems: she's overweight, ignored by her movie star parents, and in love with her adopted brother. She's also dead. But not just dead. Madison is in Hell. Chuck Palahniuk's latest, "Damned", takes us on Madison's journey through Hell, as she navigates the Hillocks of Discarded Nail Pairings and the River of Vomit, meeting everyone from Charles Darwin to Marilyn Monroe, with a colorful cast of characters (damned for unspeakable acts, like wearing white shoes after Labor Day), to determine why she's really there, and whether she will be damned for eternity. In "Damned", Hell really does exist, as a place where your only career choice is telemarketer (yes, that's where those calls actually originate), the currency is Halloween candy, and 'the in-flight movie is always "The English Patient", never "The Breakfast Club"'. With witty, laugh-out-loud prose, and a twist like only Palahniuk can write, this dark comedic novel is sure to be ranked among his best.