In this “erotically charged”(Publishers Weekly) diary that picks up where Incest left off, Nin chronicles a restless search for fulfillment that leads her to New York City-”that brilliant giant toy” -then back to Paris and Henry, and eventually into the arms of a passionate new lover.
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ANAÏS NIN (1903-1977) was born in Paris and aspired at an early age to be a writer. An influential artist and thinker, she was the author of several novels, short stories, critical studies, a collection of essays, nine published volumes of her Diary, and two volumes of erotica, Delta of Venus and Little Birds.
Title Page,
Contents,
Copyright,
Frontispiece,
Preface,
Note,
December 1934,
January 3, 1935,
January 7, 1935,
January 26, 1935,
February 1, 1935,
February 13, 1935,
February 19, 1935,
February 28, 1935,
February 28, 1935,
March 4, 1935,
March 5, 1935,
March 14, 1935,
March 19, 1935,
March 21, 1935,
March 25, 1935,
March 26, 1935,
March 29, 1935,
April 1, 1935,
April 2, 1935,
April 15, 1935,
April 16, 1935,
April 17, 1935,
April 18, 1935,
April 22, 1935,
Aril 24, 1935,
May 2, 1935,
May 2, 1935,
May 11, 1935,
May 14, 1935,
May 22, 1935,
June 22, 1935,
June 27, 1935,
June 29, 1935,
June 30, 1935,
July 1, 1935,
July 5, 1935,
July 6, 1935,
July 10, 1935,
July 11, 1935,
July 14, 1935,
July 17, 1935,
July 21, 1935,
July 24, 1935,
July 29, 1935,
August 2, 1935,
August 4, 1935,
August 5, 1935,
August 10, 1935,
August 12, 1935,
August 17, 1935,
August 18, 1935,
August 22, 1935,
September 5, 1935,
September 12, 1935,
September 18, 1935,
October 5, 1935,
October 6, 1935,
October 14, 1935,
October 16, 1935,
October 19, 1935,
October 28, 1935,
October 30, 1935,
November 2, 1935,
November 7, 1935,
November 8, 1935,
November 9, 1935,
November 13, 1935,
November 15, 1935,
November 21, 1935,
November 25, 1935,
November 26, 1935,
December 5, 1935,
December 6, 1935,
December 9, 1935,
December 12, 1935,
December 15, 1935,
December 18, 1935,
December 22, 1935,
January 3, 1936,
January 4, 1936,
January 5, 1936,
January 12, 1936,
January 13, 1936,
January 18, 1936,
January 27, 1936,
January 31, 1936,
February 1, 1936,
February 15, 1936,
March 2, 1936,
March 5, 1936,
March 6, 1936,
March 7, 1936,
March 9, 1936,
March 11, 1936,
March 16, 1936,
March 17, 1936,
March 18, 1936,
March 19, 1936,
March 20, 1936,
March 23, 1936,
March 29, 1936,
April 4, 1936,
April 5, 1936,
June 12, 1936,
June 13, 1936,
June 5, 1936,
June 26, 1936,
July 3, 1936,
July 5, 1936,
July 14, 1936,
July 21, 1936,
July 23, 1936,
July 25, 1936,
July 27, 1936,
July 30, 1936,
August 1, 1936,
August 2, 1936,
August 2, 1936,
August 4, 1936,
August 10, 1936,
August 10, 1936,
August 18, 1936,
August 20, 1936,
August 22, 1936,
August 23, 1936,
August 31, 1936,
September 3, 1936,
September 10, 1936,
September 11, 1936,
September 17, 1936,
September 20, 1936,
September 22, 1936,
September 26, 1936,
September 29, 1936,
October 4, 1936,
October 5, 1936,
October 8, 1936,
October 11, 1936,
October 12, 1936,
October 13, 1936,
October 18, 1936,
October 21, 1936,
October 22, 1936,
October 25, 1936,
November 2, 1936,
November 8, 1936,
November 12, 1936,
November 18, 1936,
November 20, 1936,
November 22, 1936,
November 24, 1936,
November 25, 1936,
November 26, 1936,
December 8, 1936,
December 13, 1936,
December 18, 1936,
December 21, 1936,
December 23, 1936,
December 27, 1936,
December 28, 1936,
January 1, 1937,
January 3, 1937,
January 4, 1937,
January 10, 1937,
January 12, 1937,
January 16, 1937,
January 17, 1937,
January 19, 1937,
January 20, 1937,
January 21, 1937,
January 22, 1937,
January 24, 1937,
January 29, 1937,
February 2, 1937,
February 4, 1937,
February 6, 1937,
February 7, 1937,
February 8, 1937,
February 11, 1937,
February 12, 1937,
February 14, 1937,
February 18, 1937,
February 20, 1937,
February 28, 1937,
March 3, 1937,
Biographical Notes,
Index,
About the Author,
Footnotes,
DECEMBER 1934
My ship broke the speed record sailing toward New York. It was night and not morning when I arrived — fittingly, for the night is now the beginning for me and the root of all days. The band was playing, and the skyscrapers were twinkling with a million eyes, seemingly standing on black air; and a man was whispering: "Listen, honey, I love you, listen to me, honey, I love you. Honey, you're marvelous. Isn't it grand, honey, to arrive in New York while I make love to you. I'm mad about you, honey. You won't do me wrong? You won't forget me, honey? I love your hair, honey. Listen to me ..."
"The music is too loud," I said. "I can only hear the music." But I was looking for Otto Rank, for the other, looking at the lights, the Babylonian city, the wharves, the people, and not "honey" but "darling," and eyes shining like patent leather, with a love taller than the skyscrapers, a love inlaid with a million eyes and windows, and tongues.
His eyes. "Oh, darling!"
But it was a dream. We were wrapped in cotton, in silk threads, in webs, in moss, in fog, in the sea — flavor of distance to be annihilated.
My room. Which, he said, had been the Waiting Room. Laughter begins to flower and tinkle, like a box full of savings. We had been saving it, dime by dime, for use today. That was to be the texture, the perfume and the color of our alliance: humor and a long-saved laughter.
Very slowly, with hands, tongues, mouths, we unwrapped and untied ourselves, laying open gifts. Gave birth to each other again, as separate bodies who enjoy collision. Not the lovers of Paris, whose caresses could not become prolonged indefinitely into space, daily living, daily motions and actions.
I've found the one I can play with, play really, play the woman, play everything in my head or body with a blood rhythm. Not the play of ideas where the instinct rebels against realization. He says, "I have an idea." And he invents, creates, fantastically and magically — life. Every detail of life.
I am not alone, embroidering. He leaps, he directs, he realizes. He is more adept at realizing, more adroit in details; he can be the criminal and the detective, Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, Don Quixote, June, Louise, or Dr. Rank, analyzing in his strange way, which is generating his own self, born in our love.
New lovers. With all New York pointing to ascension, to exultation, to climax, to heightening. New York, the brilliant giant toy with such soft-oiled hinges. In our hands, in his nervous, quick hands. I have an idea, and in a new and sudden rhythm we began to swim: retorts, answers, response, interplay ... my world, shared.
I knew of the sameness of feeling, but not of the sameness of thinking. The love of embroidery, of complexity, for the love of disentangling.
He read me from Huckleberry Finn. The freeing of the...
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