CHAPTER 1

Overview

Getting to know youGetting to know all about youGetting to like youGetting to hope you like me

~ From The King and I, Rogers and Hammerstein

Paula Boggs loved cookies. So when the executive assistant to the CEO called totell her that cookies had been delivered for her, she said she would be rightover.

She was very excited about her new job as the general counsel for Starbucks. Sheopened the card, and the gift was from Doc Spade. He was the mail guy who camearound each day at the law firm of Perkins Elmer and Ellis, where she hadpreviously worked. Paula had always enjoyed her conversations with him. Theirchats were a welcome diversion from her cases, and he was a nice guy to catch upwith on what was happening in his life and at the firm. She thought it curiousthat Doc would send her a congratulatory gift on her new position, and even morethat it should come via the CEO's office. The executive assistant explained. JimDonald, the president and CEO of Starbucks, was from the same small town southof Seattle as Doc. When he saw that someone from Perkins was a candidate for thegeneral counsel's job, Jim called to get a reference from his friend of 40years—Doc Spade.

It is indeed crucial to keep your network up-to-date and refreshed. Having saidthat, there are many people that we overlook because we assume that they do nothave anything to offer. Fortunately for Paula, she realized that anyone andeveryone was worthy of her time and appreciation.

Maybe I'm just lazy, but one of the reasons that I like networking is thatothers help me. There's just no way I can get everything done by myself. If Iask people to make an introduction or give me an idea, it means that more mindsare better than one.

From your first conversation in the morning until your last conversation atnight, you are networking. Many people don't realize that they are networkingwhen that is exactly what they are doing. If you have lunch with someone a fewtimes a year to stay in touch, that's networking. If you participate on a boardor community group, you are networking. If you recommend an attorney to yourneighbor, you are networking.

• Have you ever recommended someone for a job?

• How did you get your biggest client?

• Is there someone you meet every so often for a cup of coffee?

• How did you find out about your favorite restaurant?

• How did you find that great vacation spot?

• Where did you find out about your apartment or house?

• Whom do you call to raise money for your favorite charity?

Networking is the art of building and sustaining mutually beneficialrelationships. There is a worthwhile reason for all parties to participate. Ithappens at home, at work, in our community, with everyone.

THERE ARE THREE TYPES OF PEOPLE—WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

It is said that there are three types of people in the world:

1. Those who make it happen

2. Those who watch it happen

3. Those who wonder what happened

Think of an inverted stoplight—do you make things go, do you proceed withcaution, or do find yourself stopped dead in your tracks? Networked people makethings happen, and they know others who do so as well. They are sought after asproblem solvers and solution providers.

Which light are you? In this book, we'll discuss how you can make things happenand teach yourself the networking tools and techniques that will make yousuccessful.

WHY READ THIS BOOK?

I taught my first networking workshop to a nonprofit association that wanted tooffer its members some tools and techniques to maximize their networkingopportunities. While networking opportunities abound, the process isn't clearand is open to interpretation. That can cause some confusion and frustration.The Networking Survival Guide is designed to help make order out ofchaos. It focuses on two facets of networking:

1. The outside, the practical, the skills, or the "how-to." These are aspectsthat can easily be learned with some training and practice.

2. The inside, spiritual education. This is the connection to others that wefeel when we network and the possible reasons we may be hesitant to do so.

Here are some comments and questions that I kept hearing. See if they resonatewith you.

• When I meet someone, I don't know what to say.

• I feel as if I'm bothering people.

• If someone doesn't return my call in a week, do I call again?

• When I'm given someone's name, is it okay to use it?

• How often should I follow up?

• What method is best?

• How many times should I follow up?

• What organizations should I be a part of?

• Networking takes too much time.

Be easy on yourself. So far, it's been the luck of your family, your education,your genes, and your environment that has determined your networking aptitude.Somehow you were expected to learn this essential lifelong skill from a varietyof people and places without a curriculum or any structure.

Imagine about five or six people who all wear the same size shoe. They take offtheir right shoe, move one place to the right, and put on the right shoe of theperson standing next to them. I bet the shoe feels a bit weird.

That is what this book will do for you and networking. You are going to learnand/or refine best practices and adapt them to your needs. Best practices arelike new shoes: The more you wear them, the more they become made just for you.They protect what literally holds you up, they express your individuality, andthey anchor you.

Summary: Getting to know people and letting others get to know you beginsthe cycle that empowers the networking process. Best practices make you feelconfident, like your favorite shoes.

REASONS WE NETWORK

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man...