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Linnda Durre', Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, business consultant, national speaker; magazine, Internet, and newspaper columnist; and television and radio talk show host, consults and speaks to businesses, companies, and corporations. She hosted and co-produced two live call-in TV shows: "Ask The Family Therapist," on America's Health Network, a national cable TV station associated with the Mayo Clinic which aired from Universal Studios, Orlando; and "Personal Success Hotline with Dr. Durre'," on a PBS affiliate, and three radio shows. She has spoken to hundreds of groups and given interviews on Oprah, 60 Minutes, The Today Show, The O'Reilly Factor, Canada AM, Daytime, Fox, CBS, NBC, ABC, and Good Morning America, among others, and she has been interviewed, quoted, and/or cited in Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Investors Business Daily, Inc. Magazine, Business Week, Law Office Administrator, New York Times, LA Times, Christian Science Monitor, USA Today, Orlando Magazine, Toronto Globe & Mail, Pasadena Star News, Argus Leader, San Diego Union and Tribune, Atlanta Journal Constitution, Orlando Business Journal, Orlando Sentinel, Seattle Daily Journal of Commerce, San Francisco Chronicle and Examiner, Pacific Sun, San Antonio Light, Florida Magazine, and Parade. She has written for Forbes Online, AOL, Monster, Yahoo, Orlando Business Journal, American Cities Business Journals, Brentwood News, and in her column at eBossWatch on coping with difficult bosses.

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SURVIVING THE TOXIC WORKPLACE

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Contents

Chapter One

Do you dread getting out of bed each day and dealing with bosses and co-workers who drive you crazy? Are you surrounded by people who are incompetent, negative, verbally abusive, and impossible to deal with? Have you asked the human resources department for help, yet nothing changes? These are all signs of Staff Infections—the difficulties you experience in dealing with toxic people and workplace conditions. Welcome to the reality that millions of people face on a daily basis. If it feels as if you are living in a "Dilbert" cartoon some days, then you need this book! In it you will find important information that will empower you to change your work environment, psychological explanations of the toxic behavior you experience, and, most important, techniques to remedy situations with obnoxious and difficult co-workers and bosses. After reading Surviving the Toxic Workplace and understanding how to communicate and be assertive, hopefully you'll be able to enjoy your job, get along with people, and have a productive, rewarding, and satisfying work experience in a safe and protected environment.

This book is important to companies as well as individuals. On a larger scale, it could benefit the world economy. Companies lose billions of dollars each year because of miscommunication, poor time management, alcoholism and drug addiction, high turnover, and lowered productivity. The reverberations from any single incident could be catastrophic, resulting in costly lawsuits and court- imposed fines. This book will show you how to change such situations, stop them, and prevent them from happening again—no matter if you're an entry-level employee or an executive.

Whether we're in a flourishing, abundant economy or a recession, good communication skills, assertiveness, and cooperation are essential to running a company. In a recession, these traits become even more crucial because many times there are harsh cutbacks, with employees doing the job of two or even three people, hours and benefits are slashed, and tension, stress, and problems arise.

I will address these issues by first describing effective communication techniques and instructing you how to communicate with co-workers yourself. If my suggestions don't work, then it may be necessary to report the difficult co- worker to the boss or HR. Granted, there are times when it is mandatory to seek assistance from a supervisor and the head of HR. Try my techniques first before going to a higher level. Nobody benefits from being perceived as a helpless whiner, so it's up to you to solve these challenges—using my proven techniques.

In some instances it might be necessary to confront your boss about his or her own difficult behavior. Obviously in this depressed economy you don't want to get fired. However, a confrontation won't necessarily translate into your losing your job. Find an example in this book that reflects your situation, and use it to your advantage. Be as tactful and diplomatic as possible while remaining clear, firm, and assertive. Practice the words beforehand—perhaps in front of a mirror—until you feel comfortable. You may even want to tape-record or videotape yourself, then review the tape to find your weak spots. You may also want to ask close friends, your partner, spouse, or a colleague for feedback. Remember, you have a right to a happy, hassle-free workplace—one that is free of distraction and discrimination.

Many people feel helpless and hopeless in confronting problems at work. They are thwarted at each turn by a rigid administration that doesn't want change, stifles open and honest communication, and makes trouble for people who make any attempt to speak up. In some companies, HR may side with the management against the workers, so your complaints could be squelched even further. It's true that this can be frustrating and painful, and in a bad economy, most people don't want to rock the boat. So you have a choice—keep quiet and put up with it, or say something to remedy it.

If you keep quiet, you will increase the stress you feel, and you might even begin to hate going to work even more. Such a tense emotional state can bring on physical ailments such as migraine headaches, backaches, ulcers, and high blood pressure. On the other hand, you can learn to speak up, be assertive, and confront the situation directly in a variety of ways. If direct communication fails to effect change, you can also explore other options to solve the situation—reporting it to HR, alerting the union or professional/trade association, publicizing it with the media, seeking legal help, and filing a lawsuit or a class-action suit. Websites and contact information are provided in Chapter 38 and on my website for reporting violations to federal agencies. I hope all of the information in the following chapters helps you to remedy a negative situation so you can work in a cooperative, productive environment where you enjoy going to work!

Chapter Two

If you feel you are working in a toxic work environment with toxic people, take this quiz to find out:

Are you doing the work of two or three people and paid one salary?

YES NO

Do you resent working harder and longer than your co-workers?

YES NO

Do you get little or no appreciation and thanks?

YES NO

Does a co-worker drive you crazy?

YES NO

Are you/another in danger at work because of unsafe conditions?

YES NO

Have you/another asked your boss or HR for help or made a formal report but nothing changed?

YES NO

Are there dangerous conditions at work that go unrepaired?

YES NO

Does a co-worker have disgusting personal habits?

YES NO

Does a co-worker often interrupt your work?

YES NO

Is a co-worker chronically late yet no one says anything?

YES NO

Does a co-worker miss deadlines and affect productivity?

YES NO

Does a co-worker steal your ideas and take credit?

YES NO

Does a co-worker ask you to cover or lie for him or her?

YES NO

Does a co-worker act like your boss when you are peers?

YES NO

Is a co-worker criticizing your work constantly for no reason?

YES NO

Does a co-worker go on political rants and no one stops him or her?

YES NO

Does a co-worker get on a morality/religious soap box at work?

YES NO

Is someone at work having an affair and you have to lie for him or her?

YES NO

Has a co-worker set you up to take the blame for his or her mistake?

YES NO

Have you ever been asked to falsify data, reports, or documents?

YES NO

Have you ever been asked to do anything unethical, illegal, or immoral?

YES NO

If it's a family business, do family members get away with things that others don't?

YES NO

Have you/another ever been sexually harassed at work?

YES NO

Does a co-worker use sexual favors to get ahead at work?

YES NO

Does a co-worker tell lewd jokes in front of you and others?

YES NO

Are people surfing porn websites instead of working?

YES NO

Have you ever heard someone tell a racist joke at work?

YES NO

Have...