CHAPTER 1

LEARNING HOW TO RIDE THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER-COASTER

HOW TO MANAGE FEAR AND EMOTIONS WHEN ADVERSITY AFFECTS YOUR WORLD

Arguably, two of the most painful occurrences in life are the loss of a lovedone and the loss of a job. That being said and given your own situation, whatemotions are you feeling at this moment? Are you stunned, terrified, infuriated?Are you experiencing high anxiety or even bouts of depression? Are you in aplace called "I can't believe this is happening to me" or "this must be a baddream"? These are just some of the emotions experienced by people whose livesare turned upside down when they lose their jobs and find themselves seeking newopportunities in troubled economies and highly competitive job markets.

Regardless of what you are facing, in most cases, worry takes over and emotionsgo uncontrollably berserk. Initial questions will pervade your thoughts: "Will Isurvive this?" "Why did this happen to me?" "What did I do to deserve this?""Will I be able to endure the pain?" "How long will this last?" "Where will themoney come from?" "Will I be able to keep my home?" "How will this affect myquality of life?" "Will I be a burden to my family?" The worst-case scenariotakes center stage in the theater of your mind, and fear plays the starringrole.

Landing a new job in a troubled economy begins when you constructively andproactively manage and control your fears and emotions. Success is born froma fearless constitution. There are two primary components for effectivelymanaging job loss and securing a new job. The first is to assume personalresponsibility and maintain a confident and positive attitude. The second is touse your peak performing state of mind to plan and execute a flawless jobtransition campaign. You must become an educated, determined, and optimisticcampaigner to effectively recover from job loss and land a new job in acompetitive job market. The information contained in this chapter goes farbeyond the idea of positive thinking. You will be introduced to specifictechniques and strategies to inspire you to remain positive and to manage yourfears and emotions no matter what challenges you face. By doing so, you becomean empowered, proactive participant in securing a new opportunity quickly andeffectively.

FIRST, A FEW WORDS ABOUT FEAR

Fear is normal—it can't be eliminated, nor should it be ignored. Fearmust be conquered. It's been shown that experiencing success and landing anew, more rewarding job begins as soon as you learn how to conquer your fear. Infact, if you don't acknowledge your fear, you'll become more at riskpsychologically. Disarming and conquering your fear begins with recognizing itspresence, accepting it, and taking action to manage it. And fear grips not justthose who have lost their jobs, but all those who are part of their circle ofinfluence—spouses, children, parents, and friends.

This chapter contains authoritative information and strategies to motivate andempower everyone involved in the job transition process to effectively deal withfear and its attendant crippling emotions such as guilt, resentment,helplessness, and feelings of being overwhelmed. In the wake of some of life'smost difficult moments, courage and confidence become the conquering heroes.Courage and confidence help you become courageous in the wake of fear,negativity, pessimism, and stress in your efforts to get a new job in troubledeconomies.

John Costello was a sales professional working in his family's business. He wasunable to meet his financial obligations for himself and his son, Francesco, andhe sought a new job. He said: "My emotions were on a constant roller-coasterride. One day I was hopeful that my contacts would help me find a new position.Then anger, fear, and despair took over. I realized I was going to need helpworking through my emotions. And when I learned how to take control of myemotions, I immediately took control of my future in a positive and successfulmanner. I landed the job I wanted in less than two months."

A positive attitude and confident approach to job loss not only makes theassociated traumas and dramas bearable, but will also result in securing a newjob quickly and enjoyably. International job coach Martin Buck-land, JCTC andprincipal of Elite Executive Career Management Services headquartered inOntario, Canada, says, "Controlling negative emotions in a positive way iscritical to any job search campaign. The more out of control you are, the longerthe campaign will take, and you probably won't land the kind of job you reallydeserve. I work as hard with clients on their emotions as I do on theirrésumés."

So as you begin your journey to secure a new opportunity, you must embrace twocritical components:

1. Adopt a healthy and positive outlook about how best to cope with and workthrough your job loss, as well as any of life's other unexpected bumps in theroad.

2. Master the 10 principles of success and the four emotional channelingtechniques I will introduce later in this chapter to help you maintain apositive, healthy state of mind.

YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE IS THE QUALITY OF YOUR EMOTIONS

Your quality of life—and that includes how you feel—is the qualityof your emotions. It's not what you drive, where you live, or what you'reexperiencing that matters; it's how you feel about what you drive, where youlive, or what you're experiencing that makes all the difference. Managing youremotions and moods is about not allowing anyone or anything to determine how youfeel regardless of the challenges you face. You have the ultimate power todetermine how you feel at any given time and in any situation.

There are so many variables that influence how you feel. The irony is that ifyou're like most people, you allow everything and everyone, except you, todetermine what you are feeling. Said differently, you allow externalinfluences to dictate your emotions. Advertisers, television programs, andthe media are external influences. Parents, family members, and friends areexternal influences. Teachers, professors, and spiritual leaders are externalinfluences. Even employment professionals—including job coaches, authors,HR managers, and executive recruiters—are external influences. Most of thetime, you allow other people and other people's expectations to dictate how youfeel. But seldom do you allow yourself to determine how you feel based on yourown conscious thoughts and expectations of yourself. Your reactions and emotionsare a result of subconscious or conditioned beliefs rather than reason andcommon sense. In others words, you simply react in a fear-based, negative mannerto...