No Sunscreen for the Dead: A Novel (Serge Storms, 22) - Hardcover

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Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of twenty-five other novels: Mermaid Confidential, Tropic of Stupid, Naked Came the Florida Man, No Sunscreen for the Dead, Pope of Palm Beach, Clownfish Blues, Coconut Cowboy, Shark Skin Suite, Tiger Shrimp Tango, The Riptide Ultra-Glide, When Elves Attack, Pineapple Grenade, Electric Barracuda, Gator A-Go-Go, Nuclear Jellyfish, Atomic Lobster, Hurricane Punch, The Big Bamboo, Torpedo Juice, Cadillac Beach, The Stingray Shuffle, Triggerfish Twist, Orange Crush, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, and Florida Roadkill. He lives in Florida.

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The Sunshine State’s most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in his pursuit to protect one of Florida’s most popular species—retirees—in this zany adventure from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, the New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey.

For years, Serge Storms has made it his mission to snuff out the lowlifes, predators, and all-around bad actors who have besmirched the reputation of his beloved Florida. Now, though, it’s time to retire (well before the required age)—or so Serge tells his well-baked sidekick, Coleman. But that doesn’t mean the dynamic duo will stop road-tripping. Donning a new wardrobe—including the all-important calf-high black socks—Serge and Coleman gas up the car and head to the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State: one of the largest retirement communities in the world.

What better way to enjoy their golden years than at the place made famous by a sex scandal and record STD rates? But despite the hospitality, Serge finds the sprawling utopia too nice, too new. So he continues south into the real seniors’ world of vintage trailer parks.

Despite common lore, Florida is not God’s waiting room, and Serge intends to prove it. But what starts out as an innocent quest to tour the Retirement Coast, celebrate seniors in their natural habitat, sample the local cuisine and scope out a final bridge-playing nest of their own soon becomes a Robin Hood crusade to recover the life savings of swindled elders. After all, seniors should be revered and respected—they’ve heroically fought in wars, served in the Peace Corps and garnered priceless wisdom, and they have the best firsthand accounts of arcane Floridiana that only Serge would know.

All appears headed for sunset bliss until unseen, larger-than-life forces threaten to crush Serge’s efforts for all time in an epic adventure that jumps between present day and the tumultuous times of the retirees’ pasts.

Meanwhile, the questions only mount:

When did the Cold War heat back up in the

Sunshine State?

What secrets are revealed by the early-bird special?

How do the Amish figure?

Who is in the duck costume?

And why are they selling Viagra outside the bingo hall?