Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse - Hardcover

Reseña del editor

In "Got Fight?", Forrest Griffin and Erich Krauss unleashed their unique brand of humor teaching people how to get tough and become a man. Now in the sequel to their bestselling book, Griffin and Krauss teach people the ultimate form of manliness: surviving the coming apocalypse (it's gotta come soon, so you might as well be ready). For years, Forrest Griffin has been waiting anxiously to find himself in a post-apocalyptic future. Why's he so excited about the near-extinction of mankind? Think about it: with grooming an personal hygiene no longer a prerequisite to social acceptance, you can let your mutton chops grow and live out your secret fantasy of becoming Wolverine. You could kill squirrels with your bare hands, practice throwing knives all day, and never have to say 'excuse me' after farting. With actual survival tips, illustrations, and photos of Forrest showing off his wilderness, this book is a survival guide for everyone who thinks that the end is near and wants to embrace it rather than running for the hills. From eating in the wild to fighting dirty in a world that looks like Mad Max, this book is for people who look forward to the end of the world because it will allow them to stop wearing pants once and for all.

Contraportada

Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here is a quick checklist:

1. Have you dug up your wife's rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?

2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?

3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?

4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?

5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?

As you can see, you need this book more than you even know. Without it, you're roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food, nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training—a part of which involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just one step below Boy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is. (Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn't have a clue). Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch Nails. Hey, don't judge . . . hoarders are survivors. Just look at squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.

If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of diseases and listening to crying babies, you've got some skills to master. But don't worry—Forrest has you covered. From spotting the signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones now so they don't come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, he provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.