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Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Indiana State University Southeast and a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, draws on more than twenty years of research to penetrate the many myths and mysteries surrounding shyness. His principal mission is to promote "the successfully shy life"--one of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-confidence--helping to enlighten and encourage shy people who feel isolated and misunderstood. Shyness: A Bold New Approach is a comprehensive presentation of the latest discoveries and numerous self-help strategies and self-assessment quizzes. Dr. Carducci explains the basic principles of shyness; discusses the physical, mental, and emotional expressions of shyness; and explores the biological, psychological, and societal roots of this trait. Dr. Carducci lives in Jefferson, IN.

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Shy Facts

• Shy children are not destined to be shy adults.
• Shyness does not equal low self-esteem.
• Shyness is not a "disease," personality deficit, or character flaw.
• Humans aren't the only species to experience shyness. Scientists have been studying shy cattle aswell as shy cats, shy fish, and shy dogs.
• Some of the world's most famous, richest, smartest and bravest people are shy.

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Shyness

Quill

"When I speak to someone, I usually get nervous and uncomfortable. I talk very fast, mumble my words, stutter. I don't talk loud enough for others to hear, so I'm constantly repeating myself."

"I egotistically take other people to be noticing and criticizing my behavior much more than they probably do. I set excessively high standards for myself, expecting a smoothness, quality, and ease of interaction that a nonshy person wouldn't dream of expecting."

"When I was younger, I was very quiet with strangers and in social situations. I was a completely different person when I was with my family and friends. I have a great sense of humor and a lot of personality that seemed to disappear in public. Today there is an ongoing struggle and inner badgering during social situations."

"Life is hell, when you cannot even talk because of fear of saying something dumb."

"When I was younger, people thought I was stuck-up, and they didn't like me. That hurt a lot."

"A couple of years ago, I had gum surgery. I found this prospect less nerve-wracking than going to a party that was held at about the same time!"

These are the voices of people whose shyness causes them pain and limits their choices. But shyness is a multidimensional, multifaceted personality trait. Since no two shy people are alike, your experience of shyness need not be as distressing. Throughout this book, you will hear from other individuals who, like yourself, are trying to understand their shyness in order to live a successfully shy life.

How does one lead a successfully shy life? It doesn't mean becoming an extrovert. Rather it means understanding how shyness influences the most important aspects of your daily life and what you can do about it. Living the successfully shy life is no different from other successes; it is full of risks and possibilities, new experiences and defeats, challenges and rewards.

Part I of this book will give you a basic understanding of shyness in general and help you interpret your own unique experience. In Chapter 1 we will deal with the most frequently asked questions about shyness in order to penetrate its mysteries. In Chapter 2 the Shy Life Survey will help you explore the various dimensions of your own shyness; such self-awareness is the first step toward self-confidence and living a successfully shy life.

In Chapter 3 we will investigate and debunk the most common myths and misconceptions about shyness. Interestingly, I have found that shy individuals in particular give these much credence, seriously hindering their ability to live successfully shy lives.

Chapter 4 offers a new view of shyness based on three underlying principles. These principles can form the basis for decisions you make to ensure that you live a successfully shy life.

Shyness is not about changing you; it's about helping you understand the unique experience of your shyness. Reading it will be like any other life-altering journey--starting a new job, visiting a foreign country, moving to a new neighborhood, initiating a romance. You may feel a sense of uncertainty but also hope and excitement. I am here to offer you a road map and serve as your guide.

Welcome to Shyness: A Bold New Approach.Continues...

Excerpted from Shynessby Carducci, Bernardo J. Copyright © 2004 by Bernardo Carducci. Excerpted by permission.
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