Is It You or Is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game - Softcover

Über die Autorinnen und Autoren

Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and Montefiore Medical Center, is the author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man.

Diane Cole is the author of After Great Pain: A New Life Emerges and Hunting the Headhunters: A Woman's Guide.

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In this provocative new look at romantic relationships, psychologist Scott Wetzler explores the widespread phenomenon of misplaced anger that seems to define couples dynamics in the 1990s. Partners are feeling hurt and bruised by the very people with whom they are most vulnerable. In desperation and puzzlement, they are asking, "Who's at fault here? Is it you or is it me?"

What seems to be driving this "inside-out" dynamic, says Wetzler, is our increasing inability to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that intimacy arouses -- anger, anxiety, frustration, disappointment, or self-doubt. We have become utterly cynical about love and find it easier to hold our partners responsible for our psychological frailties than to own up to and work through the confusing emotions that inevitably accompany falling and being in love.

Written in a strong narrative style with illuminating cases throughout, here is a book of relationship advice for grown-ups.