Driving the Road of Life with a Flat Tire: Stories from My Mistake-filled Life - Softcover

"Warning: reading Gary Yordon's book could be hazardous to your health. You'll laugh until it hurts. Yordon's life slips and slides upon an endless layer of banana peels. In Driving the Road of Life with a Flat Tire, he delightfully chronicles his hits and misses in recognizable misadventures that illuminate the off-kilter existence shared by all of us . . ." Martin Merzer, former senior writer, Miami Herald"

“When Berneice and I first met, my finest piece of art was a stunning five-foot-tall black velvet Elvis. I also had a really nice 3D Last Supper, where the disciples’ eyes followed you around the room. I had a few tasteful John Wayne pieces, including a stagecoach clock, but the Elvis was really the star of the show.”

Welcome to the world of Gary Yordon—former politician, part-time television host, and accidental newspaper columnist. When Yordon’s world began giving him stories too good not to immortalize, he sent one to a friend at a newspaper. Two years and fifty-four columns later, he had a rabidly loyal readership.

Their persistent requests led to this collection.

There is nothing above Yordon’s satire, including his lack of home repair skills, addiction to Steven Seagal movies, and kidney stone intolerance. (Okay, maybe Yordon is normal in that regard.) And he admits actively resisting the temptation to write excessively about his mother, who is “a living, breathing, Neil Simon play.”

“About five minutes into hearing my eighty-eight-year-old Jewish mother answering my simple question, I put the phone down and made a sandwich and then took a moment to fill the cat’s water bowl. I thumbed through a couple of pieces of mail and picked up the phone. Mom was still in perfect rhythm.”

Tender moments are tucked away in this book too, especially those related to Yordon’s relationship with his profoundly challenged son, Zachary.