Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts - Softcover

If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, "Why Won t You Apologize"? is the answer. This book is a game changer. --Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Rising Strong"

I love Harriet Lerner s work! --Anne Lamott, author of Help, Thanks, Wow and Bird by Bird"

A profoundly insightful look into the many ways humans hurt each other and the power of apology to restore broken relationships. Harriet Lerner has written a valuable guide for both those who deserve an apology and those who owe one.--John Kador, author of Effective Apology"

"With her signature punch and humor, Harriet Lerner tackles the injuries that occur inmarriage, family and friendship. Her advice for repairinghurts and earning forgiveness is fresh, profound, life-affirming and immediately useful."--Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You?"

""The Dance of Apology" is at once practical and profound. Itguides us through the most difficult places in human relationships--"being "wronged and "doing "wrong. The stories Lerner tells are unforgettable and full of heart, making each chapter worth the price of admission. Read this book, then pass it on to the non-apologizer."--Monica McGoldrick, M.A., LCSW, Ph.D. (Honorary), Director of the Multicultural Family Institute in Highland Park, New Jersey"

“If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

“Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.

Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.