Family Re-Union: Reconnecting Parents and Children in Adulthood - Softcover

James Carroll

author of "An American Requiem"

"Family Re-Union" is the ultimate in lifelong learning. A poignant and sage reflection, noble in its reach. It is a book for each family member, and for every family.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

author of "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life"

A poignant, thoughtful, and thought-provoking book, full of examples that will help parents of grown children find new ways of seeing and being in the family.

Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D.

author of "Tangled Lives: Daughters, Mothers, and the Crucible of Aging"

"Family Re-Union" is a book for our time -- and a wise, humane, and wonderful one it is. It not only lays out the knotty intergenerational issues and conflicts that inevitably arise as parents and adult children move from one stage of life to another, but it offers important lessons in how to navigate them.

Ellen Goodman

syndicated columnist and co-author of "I Know Just What You Mean: The Power of Friendship in Women's Lives"

We spend only 18 years raising our children and the rest of life relating to them as adults. So why are the bookshelves toppling over with child-raising advice, while only a handful talk about our adult connections. Bob Kuttner and Sharland Trotter have written a personal, thoughtful, and much needed book about the family that we never outgrow.

Arlie Russell Hochschild

author of "The Time Bind: When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work"

In this perceptive, moving, and wise book on the often battle-scarred bonds between parent and adult child, Bob Kuttner and his late wife Sharland Trotter combine therapeutic observation, moments in great literature, and glimpses into hilarious and sad episodes in their own lives. Especially poignant is Bob's description of how Sharland encountered her impending death from cancer in a way that both heightened and deepened her relations to those she loved. This isn't a book about having no problems. It's an emotionally brilliant book about seeing the worth in trying to work them out.

Ellen Goodman syndicated columnist and co-author of "I Know Just What You Mean: The Power of Friendship in Women's Lives" We spend only 18 years raising our children and the rest of life relating to them as adults. So why are the bookshelves toppling over with child-raising advice, while only a handful talk about our adult connections. Bob Kuttner and Sharland Trotter have written a personal, thoughtful, and much needed book about the family that we never outgrow.

Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D. author of "Tangled Lives: Daughters, Mothers, and the Crucible of Aging""Family Re-Union" is a book for our time -- and a wise, humane, and wonderful one it is. It not only lays out the knotty intergenerational issues and conflicts that inevitably arise as parents and adult children move from one stage of life to another, but it offers important lessons in how to navigate them.

James Carroll author of "An American Requiem""Family Re-Union" is the ultimate in lifelong learning. A poignant and sage reflection, noble in its reach. It is a book for each family member, and for every family.

Arlie Russell Hochschild author of "The Time Bind: When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work" In this perceptive, moving, and wise book on the often battle-scarred bonds between parent and adult child, Bob Kuttner and his late wife Sharland Trotter combine therapeutic observation, moments in great literature, and glimpses into hilarious and sad episodes in their own lives. Especially poignant is Bob's description of how Sharland encountered her impending death from cancer in a way that both heightened and deepened her relations to those she loved. This isn't a book about having no problems. It's an emotionally brilliant book about seeing the worth in trying to work them out.

Jon Kabat-Zinn author of "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" A poignant, thoughtful, and thought-provoking book, full of examples that will help parents of grown children find new ways of seeing and being in the family.

Family Reunions explores the strains in relations between the middle-aged and their adult children, on the one hand, and their elderly parents on the other. Baby boomers in their search for advice on how to negotiate healthy relations at either end usually come up empty-handed. Amid a forest of self-help and pop psychology books, shelves of how-to manuals on parenting, where is the book that addresses the yearning that parents and grown children have for meaningful, authentic, "adult" connection? Now, here is the book that shows how autonomy and connection are not opposites, but complements. A true collaboration between a husband who is a respected journalist, columnist, and author, and a wife who was a practicing psychologist and author. Dr. Trotter died before the book was finished, yet her ideas and therapy experience rise up from these pages. Because of the unusual circumstances of its writing--Sharland Trotter learned she had cancer about a year into the work of the book--and the unusual way the author dealt with her mortal illness, this is a highly personal book. Any adult picking up this book will be able to find it relevant to her own age and circumstance because the narrative follows the entire life course. Wise and informed, the authors examine and propose strategies for the traps that parents and grown children fall into. Ultimately, they offer hope that it is never to late to create loving, respectful family ties.