Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All - Softcover

"I laughed, my dog howled." - Steve Martin

"If everyone owned a dog, we would have world peace. If everyone reads this book, they will go and get a dog and we will have taken a big step in the right direction. So this book can save the world. It will definitely change your life." - Terrence McNally, playwright

"Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson must have been dogs in another life. Their wry and witty insights into the minds of dogs are downright uncanny. Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know is hilarious and sensational." - Rory Freeman, author of Skinny Bitch

"STARRED REVIEW-"A delightful and amusing collection of comical canine "truths..".A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with. " - Publiishers Weekly

"These entertaining authors know and love dogs and give them appealing voices...it's all about the stories." - Library Journal

"At times poignant, at times hilarious, this canine tell-all will let even the most experienced dog owners in on the secret world of our best friends." - Booklist

"I read it with my whole family and everyone couldn't stop laughing." - Colinda Von Hollen-NetGalley

"The authors were able to really capture the goodness and innocence of dogs. You can't be mad at them when you see the special way they see the world and their own actions. All they want to do is please their owners... but sometimes their naive actions don't get the exact outcome they expected. And they can't wrap their heads around it. Just like us. LOL. " - Karla Vollkopf-NetGalley

"So, if you love dogs and enjoy humor, you'll love Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know. I did." - Not Just Nonsense

"Hysterically on point and sweet. I can see many of these things being thought by my own 4 legged family members. A great gift for the dog lover in your life. " - Shannon Martinez-NetGalley

Dear Human:

Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.

But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets.

• We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something.
• Puppies know that they're being cute. They're using you.
• We don't sound anything like those silly voices you use to imitate us.
• We hate those ridiculous names you give some of us. Moonbeam is not a dignified name for a mutt.
• You might want to check your herb garden for fertilizer.
• We are only wearing this stupid birthday hat so we can get some cake. No self-respecting dog cares about his birthday.
• We are not spoiled, certainly not in comparison to teenage girls.
• We are in charge of the house. We let you pretend that you are.
• We'd be lost without you. We love you.

It's all in our new book, Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know, as told to humans Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson. Even Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) raves about us! Inside you'll find revelations such as the reason we at the sofa (leather tastes very similar to rawhide), and what we really think of the costumes you dress us up in.

I'm not alone. Ten other courageous canines have stepped forward to tell you what your dog won't – every last dirty, hairy bit of it. If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.